Sunday, October 2, 2011

Justifying a Post-Collegiate Year Abroad

I have always been wary of the time period immediately following college; a time where the structure of day to day life seems to fall apart because your hours aren't filled with classes, meetings, and homework.  The academic responsibility is gone, and you're left in a kind of "what now?" daze.  I have been in school for 17 years, and I'm starting to figure out that I don't quite know how to exist outside of that model.  I do know, however, that I don't want to solve this problem by jumping into graduate school.  As a young scientist, I know this is expected of me; how else will I be able to compete with my peers?  Won't I lose my connections in the academic world if I don't stay in school?  My disdain for the competitive nature of a science career sometimes threatens to override my passion for living things.  There is so much I need to learn, both about myself and about my world, before I can be 100% sure that I am strong enough to dedicate myself whole-heartedly to a career.

I don't think the greatest personal growth on my journey will occur as a result of the places I visit or the things I do, but from being in these situations alone.  I will be forced to rely on instinct and to trust myself completely.  The loneliness that comes with solo travel will, I hope, encourage me to reach out to people in ways I never would at home.  The fact that I get to explore different cultures and landscapes is just a beautiful added bonus!  I have been thinking about a this trip for four years, and I am so happy to have finally reached a point in my life where I have the freedom to make it reality.  College, while invaluable, was a a time of consistent struggle for me, and I emerged more than ready to step back from academia.  In my mind, now is the time to learn by living in the world and to fulfill great dreams.  The weeks or years suspended between stepping stones are mine to mold, and I am going to fill them with enthusiastic exploration.  Somehow, I feel like that's justification enough.